Living a Thousand Lives Through Coming-of-Age Movies
“The powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”
- John Keating, Dead Poets Society.
Something about coming-of-age movies seems to resonate with us no matter how old we are. As teenagers, we find a sense of connection to the characters, and as adults, we’re reminded of all the emotions we felt when growing up. Regardless of what stage of life you’re in, coming-of-age movies provide us with a feeling that we spend our entire lives trying to find—a journey of self-discovery.
Specifically, coming-of-age movies push us to reflect on our lives: the plots and characters we resonate with allow us to have our own “main character” moments, giving us a platform to reenact and reinvent ourselves, and our defining moments. Films that feature these themes encompass ideas of self-discovery, first experiences, and self-love. From the awkwardness and the confusion to the excitement and the thrilling, we continue to come back to these movies because of the many lives we’re able to live vicariously through film.
The feeling that many of us chase, and will continue to chase for the rest of our lives, is one of weightlessness, as if the world is both a formidable obstacle and a realm of endless possibilities. This feeling is something ingrained into the very core of coming-of-age films, exemplified by a few chart-topping films such as Lady Bird, Dead Poets Society, and Call Me by Your Name.
Within Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird, we’re able to follow Lady Bird as she confronts family dynamics and navigates difficult relationships. As viewers, we can sympathize with Lady Bird as she struggles to find her footing at school and within her new college. She works to balance popularity and true friendship, weaving together an intricate scheme of lies that gives us both the thrilling feeling and the terrifying feeling we associate with acts of rebellion growing up.
Peter Weir’s Dead Poets Society encompasses the idea of “found family.” In this film, we follow Neil’s journey as he finds his crew and begins to understand the beauty of art and literature under Mr. Keating’s guidance. Neil watches as his friends fight battles between their passions and what is expected of them, all while fighting his own. This raw understanding of friendship turned family brings out the sentimental in all of us, providing us with a sense of nostalgia for times in which we were free to explore and discover our passions.
Another critical feeling we all experience in our processes of becoming is the feeling of heartbreak. This is something explored fully and freely in Luca Guadagnino’s Call Me by Your Name. In Call Me by Your Name, we watch as Elio discovers himself and what it means to desire someone through his summer with Oliver. In this movie, we see the ways in which heartbreak can shape someone and the growth that can occur both in and out of love. Films such as this one enable us to feel seen, as the characters go through many of the same experiences we do.
At the core of coming-of-age movies is a healthy dose of nostalgia. While the settings and time periods of each film may be different, universal feelings of curiosity, rebellion, and discovery permeate cultural boundaries. The characters we are captivated by on screen reflect fragments of ourselves, enabling us to simultaneously live a multitude of lives and our own unique one.
Additionally, there’s something timeless about coming-of-age movies. These things we relate to consistently shift and fluctuate, whether you come back to a film as a teenager, a fresh graduate, or a new parent. For the wide variety of audiences, coming-of-age movies remind us that there isn’t one linear path of growth or one concrete definition of success in this world. Instead, it is the chaotic and confusing journeys of Lady Bird, Neil, and Elio that give us the inspiring and mesmerizing moments we watch movies for.
We’re drawn to coming-of-age movies because of our desire to feel connected and not alone. Watching these films reminds us that growing up and the process of becoming is messy, painful, and embarrassing, but at the same time, beautiful, joyful, and freeing. These films act as reassurance in a world where everything seems to be driven by the need to achieve.
Lady Bird, Neil, and Elio inspire us to create our own “coming-of-age” moments, no matter the stage of life we’re in. Coming-of-age films prove to us that we can rewrite the stories we’re given at any point: within the context of our own lives, we are the main characters, we are in charge of our journeys, and we are capable of creating memories and discoveries akin to the ones we so enjoy watching play out on screen.